NYMC Reflections (Post 3 of 4)

I went to Cathy Fields learning track for the first session but decided to change to another one for the rest of the conference. I chose Hope and Healing for Kids Who are Hurting with Dr. Marv Penner. I was floored by everything that I learned and by what God did in my own heart through these 3 sessions. After each session, I walked away feeling exhausted and broken from how much I hurt for these kids, but at the same time I felt a sense of empowerment. I'm still processing everything I learned but here are some key points.

• There are 4 kinds of helping styles including the preacher, the teacher, the hugger, and the surgeon. Determining your style depends on how extroverted or introverted you are and then your perspective on how kids get into trouble. I tend to be a teacher, believing that kids are active agents in the decisions they make (as opposed to bystanders) and I believe in pursuing relational intimacy in ministry. No one style is necessarily better than another, although all depend on the extent of your relationship with a hurting kid.


• Dr. Penner describes self-injury as the "act of attempting to altar a mood state by inflicting physical harm serious enough to cause tissue damage to one's body." He also asserts that self-injury is not a "half-hearted attempt at suicide" but instead it is an attempt to stay alive. We heard many accounts of gut-wrenching testimony of young teens who cut just to see their blood and know that they are still alive. One girl said that as a result of long-lived suppression that cutting was the only way she could cry. It broke my heart and brought me to tears. For many years, I had been so insensitive to kids with this type of disorder. Ignorance was my cry.


• Learn to tell the difference between issues that need your intentional intervention and the generic developmental "chaos" of adolescence. The truth is, kids will be kids, but if they are "crying for help" the reality is that they probably need it!

For whatever reason, I feel so grateful that through all the crap I experienced through having an abandoning alcoholic father somehow, God's grace allowed me not to respond in such a way as I heard so many do. Wopsle, in the same regard, was protected as well. How? God's grace is sufficient.