Cosmo School: Day 2

I'm so thankful to be reminded that ministry needs to happen outside the church. When I worked at the Merchant I realized that I had had little to no contact with unchurched people for many years. And again I am reminded of this fault. So far it has been an amazing experience and has affirmed me in many ways. Here are a few:

• I thrive on building relationships with people - this is good not only for building my clientele but also in ministry. A perk I did not expect.
• I'm a fast learner. From years of experience in the "I do, you watch, I do, you help, you do, I help, you do, I watch" method I feel very confident in my abilities to follow instruction and execute with precision.
• My OCD does in fact have a purpose and I'm learning to embrace this quirk that God has given me. Obviously sanitation is a must in the field of cosmetology. I am meticulous about each step in the process.
• I'm talented. I believe it's a combination of the creativity I've learned to express in youth ministry as well as the virtue of excellence for which I strive.
• My ministry is through serving others in some capacity. I'm so excited to begin to see that my career in cosmetology will be an extension of my current ministry. I'm excited about where it will take me, who I will be able to serve, and, most of all, who I will be representing.

I can't wait to chronicle some of the characters in my class. I'm making friends and learning to appreciate each of their personalities. Everyday is an adventure.

As for skills learned...we're practicing nail care including mani's, pedi's, and polishing. Some might say that I'm an overly perky person but I really really really really rALLY, reeeheeeheeely, love what I'm doing!

Back to School

I am just thrilled to start cosmetology school in just a few short weeks. Excited, and albeit a little nervous, there is something so satisfying to me about acting on a dream. I have wanted to go to hair school for years now and finally feel like I'm a little closer to fulfilling a piece of my destiny. 

Don't get me wrong, I loved OU and wouldnt take back a single moment of that college experience, but the education part of it seemed so tedious to me. I finished, but not without tons of grumbling, some cheating, a few white lies, a little smooth talking/writing, incredible friends, impecable timing, a wing and a lot of prayer. However, I wasn't too motivated to finish because I knew that what would be waiting for me would be more of the same work. And as my Senior Capstone professor reminded me, "Who really needs a degree to be a writer?" 

I remember being in 7th grade when I got the news that my favorite cousin Molly would be going to cosmetology school. I let her practice on me. Even though she gave me horrible tiger stripes, I will never forget the way I looked up to her that day. That's where my passion began. From then on, anytime I would get a hair cut I would always think, "hey, I could do this!" Especially when they would try to style my hair (or load me up with hairspray) I always knew I could do it better. I regretted every prom updo I got in high school because I always walked away with a different vision for how it would have looked. Confession time: I hated my wedding hair.

So, now here I am! Finally persuing a dream that is inspired every bit as much as it is a passion. My cousin Molly passed away a little over a year ago, but I can only imagine the conversations that we would have had about being stylists - about our common dream, shared talent, and fun job. Remember to never take yourself or your job too seriously. Learn from your mistakes and dream big. This ones for you, Molly. 

Honestly Honest

I've been confronted with a lot of honestly lately and it's beginning to get the best of me. In a good way. I've decided that we're not honest enough with each other in general and have therefore been fooling ourselves and each other if we think we're doing anybody any favors. There's quite a lot of truth that can come from being honest, if I may sound so profound, and I've always said to take truth wherever you can find it. My mother was honest with me the other day and I didn't like it. But it was because I knew deep down that there was some truth to what she said. Too often we let honesty take a back seat because we're too afraid of the reality of what may be.

So, if I can be completely honest, I want to start living with more to say. At work - I want to say, with gentleness, when I think one of my coworkers may need guidance. Not out of condemnation or without discernment. But constructively to build them up and encourage them. I've noticed that even the things that I've been quietly honest with, have changed the atmosphere of conversation around the workplace. And that's encouraging to me! At small group - I want to be very honest with my girls, and I want them to crave that honestly, that it may spur them on toward more God-honoring decisions and conscious thought. In my marriage - It's so easy to not talk about the difficult questions because we feel like we'll get around to it eventually. But I want to be spiritually challenged to pray with all sincerity for my husband and our life together.  Most of all, I don't want a lack of honestly to cause unnecessary confusion or feelings of carelessness. So, can you handle the truth?

On my honor...

This afternoon I went to the Eagle Scout Ceremony for one of our students. Boy Scouts is HUGE here in Duncan and literally I have not met a man or boy who has not been involved in scouts at some point in his life. So, as you can imagine, scouting. is. next. to. godliness. I cannot emphasize the importance any more emphatically.

During this ceremony I heard the Scout Oath recited about 4 times and the Scout Law recited no less than thirty-seven times. This being my first scouting ceremony and pretty much the closest I've ever gotten to a practicing boy scout, I was intrigued by the words that were spoken. These are the virtues upheld by the Scout Law: TRUSTWORTHY, LOYAL, HELPFUL, FRIENDLY, COURTEOUS, KIND, OBEDIENT, CHEERFUL, THRIFTY, BRAVE, CLEAN, REVERENT. And this is the Scout Oath:

On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
mentally awake, and morally straight.

While I'm not sure if I think that Scouts are the best use of time, I do believe that these creeds in which they pledge sure do have good content. Whether or not all scouts uphold these promises, I think it's important to have a life motto. Even my Big Brother application asked what my life motto is! Growing up, my family's motto was "Remember who you are." I never found this more true than in my Christian walk. Wopsle and I are continuing to pray about what our family motto will be but for now we're going with "Show them Christ, not yourself." Scouts, who knew?!

"but do you love me?"

Lately I've been doing a ton of soul searching and what I've found is that I cannot rely on my own understanding but just have to trust in the faith that consumes my heart. I've made several confessions lately and it's true, I'm not crazy about living in Duncan. (you see, I'm kind of ashamed to admit it) And what's worse, I've begun to doubt my abilities to minister here.

In reading my sweet friend Jenny's blog, she linked her friend Bex who explains it so poetically that I won't even try to outdo it. (Keep in mind that both Jenny and Bex are missionaries overseas and in no way am I even trying to say that I come close to knowing what it is like to live that life far far away from family and friends in a foreign land. I just feel like I can relate to their sense of insecurity in ministry.)

Here's what Bex has to say...
” The other day I was walking down the road in a long skirt and long sleeve shirt with a head scarf and it was about 115 degrees and dusty and some guys were busy yelling about me being a foreigner and I caught myself telling God - “you know, I’ve been here seven months and I don’t really love North Africa that much yet, I could still leave and never look back and never cry much.” And I heard God ask me - “but do you love me?” And I’m not in North Africa because I love it so much, but I’m still here because I love God…and that’s reason enough.” Read the rest of her post here.

So often, my own complacencies allow me to feel defeated. It takes more than just a "can-do" and "make it work" attitude. It takes sacrifice and passion to endure anything that God puts in my path. So, in answer to the question...yes, I do love you Lord.

NYMC Reflections (Post 3 of 4)

I went to Cathy Fields learning track for the first session but decided to change to another one for the rest of the conference. I chose Hope and Healing for Kids Who are Hurting with Dr. Marv Penner. I was floored by everything that I learned and by what God did in my own heart through these 3 sessions. After each session, I walked away feeling exhausted and broken from how much I hurt for these kids, but at the same time I felt a sense of empowerment. I'm still processing everything I learned but here are some key points.

• There are 4 kinds of helping styles including the preacher, the teacher, the hugger, and the surgeon. Determining your style depends on how extroverted or introverted you are and then your perspective on how kids get into trouble. I tend to be a teacher, believing that kids are active agents in the decisions they make (as opposed to bystanders) and I believe in pursuing relational intimacy in ministry. No one style is necessarily better than another, although all depend on the extent of your relationship with a hurting kid.


• Dr. Penner describes self-injury as the "act of attempting to altar a mood state by inflicting physical harm serious enough to cause tissue damage to one's body." He also asserts that self-injury is not a "half-hearted attempt at suicide" but instead it is an attempt to stay alive. We heard many accounts of gut-wrenching testimony of young teens who cut just to see their blood and know that they are still alive. One girl said that as a result of long-lived suppression that cutting was the only way she could cry. It broke my heart and brought me to tears. For many years, I had been so insensitive to kids with this type of disorder. Ignorance was my cry.


• Learn to tell the difference between issues that need your intentional intervention and the generic developmental "chaos" of adolescence. The truth is, kids will be kids, but if they are "crying for help" the reality is that they probably need it!

For whatever reason, I feel so grateful that through all the crap I experienced through having an abandoning alcoholic father somehow, God's grace allowed me not to respond in such a way as I heard so many do. Wopsle, in the same regard, was protected as well. How? God's grace is sufficient.

NYMC Reflections (Post 4 of 4)

I'm a list maker. That A-Type personality that thrives on crossing things off my to-do list. I confess that sometimes even when I do something that's not on my to-do list that I will compulsively go back and put it on there, just so I can cross it off. I'm a sicko, really.

So when I decided to go to Jana Sarti's "Must Have Administrative Skills" workshop, I knew I would be feeding my over-achievedness. Using the mantra taught by her mother, Jana based her habits on the following rhyme: "A messy bed makes a messy head." I knew it! I knew it! I'm a firm believer of making my bed everyday because it makes me feel like I'm on time, my house is clean, and I'm well organized. That, and I can't stand getting into messy mangy sheets at the end of the day. But, it's so true! I feel unprepared mentally and spiritually when I don't give myself enough time to make my bed.

Although I felt like I knew most of the tips, there were a few that helped clarify my management philosophy. For instance, it's imperative that I manage my time first, then manage my ministry's time. Ever since my internship I've learned to make SMART goals, but learning to prioritize has further helped me. Another way to look at it is making A, B, and C priorities. "A" priorities are those that move me toward a major goal. "B" priorities are those secondary in importance and time sensitivity and "C" priorities are more like goals that would be nice to do.


Last and perhaps most important, I've learned that I need to honor God with my time. So, as I will continue to make my to-do lists, I have now started writing a reminder at the top of the paper. It says "am I being a good steward of the time God has given me."

NYMC Reflections (Post 2 of 4)

Throughout the course of the weekend, there was a combination of workshops and deeper learning tracks available. Originally I had preenrolled for one called Thriving As a Youth Pastor's Spouse: How to balance marriage, family, and yourself amidst ministry led by the sprite and incomperable Cathy Fields. Between that and Kara Powell's Balancing Ministry, Marriage, Motherhood, and More class, I picked up more than a few take-home nuggets. Here are some highlights:

• Saying "no" to something in ministry is not the same as saying "no" to God. I need to remember that everytime I say "yes" to something, I'm saying "no" to something else.
• The Sabbath - although it seems like it should be the easiest commandment to follow, it is often the most violated one by Christians. Sabbath is not an option and in fact is both a day and an attitude.
• Superficial Relationships - For me, I realized that one of the reasons why I don't have regular accountability is because I'm too busy for anything superficial. I want depth, not fluff. Ask me the difficult questions!
• If God is the great I AM, that means I am the great I AM NOT! Balance will only be possible when we realize that God is God, and I AM NOT!

NYMC Reflections (Post 1 of 4)

Well we're home from chilly Cincy and, overall, this conference exceeded our expectations. So over the next 4 days I'll be sharing some of the more interesting points of the National Youth Ministry Conference '08.

The first workshop I attended was led by the FAB-U-LOUS (Dr.) Kara Powell and was called "Balancing Ministry, Marriage, Motherhood, and More." Allow me to chase a brief rabbit trail: This is the second ministry related conference I have been to and I've noticed that many people's main agenda for these weekends is to show off their babies. Don't get me wrong, I like babies, in fact, I love babies. But quit slapping me in the face with them! It's like "we have a baby, see my baby, my baby poops, my baby rides in a stroller, my baby deserves your attention, why aren't you looking at my baby parade!" I just don't understand the flagrant baby-one-upping done by couples in ministry. Maybe someday I will, but until then I'll just use this annoyance as free birth control.
....And back to the workshop....It was wonderfully executed and presented with discussion, worksheets, and relevant facts related to women in ministry. Perhaps the most significant thing I learned from this particular workshop was over some of Kara's research. She studied a group of college students who had been active in their high school youth groups. Her goal was to see why some students struggled with their faith once they got into college. Aside from the obvious pressures, here's what she and her team discovered. It was found that students who struggled had parents who were talking to them about their (the students) faith. The students who were solid in their faith foundation had parents who were talking to them about their own (the parents) faith. You see, real faith takes leading by example and teaching through their own struggles and successes. While I don't think that this is always the case, I think it does speak to how families communicate.

That night we had the astute privilege of listening to the great Tony Dungy give a keynote address. What a passionate and humble man. Again, he reinforced this idea of family involvement by saying that it is family who primarily installs the truth and secondarily spiritual mentors who reinforce those principles. Coach Dungy talked about how four of every five of his players grew up in a single-parent home. He attributed their success to mentors and teachers they had in high school and in their churches. He left us with three final thoughts of how to help reach both the athlete as well as the non-athlete. #1. Learn your craft and never stop learning. #2. Make it personal (take personal interest in who and what you are doing) and above all Be Yourself! #3. Recharge by Relying on Christ.
Proverbs 21:31 - The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord.

Answered Prayers

This semester I have the privilege of leading the 7th grade girls CORE group. I love leading this age because I'm always surprised at what they come up with. As I'm sure you can imagine, middle school can be a difficult time, especially for girls. So this week as I was preparing my lesson, I took some extra time to pray, by name, for each girl. I know I shouldn't be, but I was shocked at how the Lord answered my prayers this week. Allow me to explain.

Right now I'm going through Beth Moore's Psalms of Ascent Bible study with a group of women at the church. (Powerful stuff, but that's a whole other blessing to describe.) On Sunday, my study led me to think and reflect on oppressive situations. I thought and prayed through how much of our reactions are based on other's actions. I felt strongly that the Lord was telling me to share this word with my 7th graders. In my mind, however, I was thinking "what does this have to do with what they're going through?" That's when God reassured me that he would show me. Sure enough, Sunday afternoon some of my girls called to ask if they could come over a little bit early to talk about a problem they were having. I wasn't surprised when they wanted to talk about some issues they were having with their group of girl friends. It was awesome to see God speak straight to their hearts and bring healing and comfort to their situation. I was encouraged even more when our Bible study that night talked about loving others even in difficult situations. The girls and I learned alot that night but more than anything we saw firsthand at how awesome a God we serve!

Sick Time

Well, here I am. Day 3 of sickness and my butt is still glued to my couch. My house looks like a the Oklahoma wind came sweeping through it and my hair is greasy enough to coat a cookie sheet. I'm thankful that I'm finally starting to feel better and move on from the monotony of the past three days.

I have watched at least 30 hours of television. My new favorite show is called Vacation Home Hunters on the Travel Channel. I watched a couple purchase a home, a vacation home that is, for 4 million dollars. E-Gad.

I have logged a stupid 22 hours playing Paper Mario. This role playing game is better than any drugs the doctor gave me. And yes, mom, my eyes are now crossed for good. Woops!

I've read most of Every Woman's Marriage. A great book for wives in all stages of marriage to read. Yesterday, I spent alot of time praying about what the phrase "Until we are parted by death." I got particularly sad in thinking about several losses I have endured over the past few years and not that I wasnt grateful before, but I realized how much Wopsle had sacrificed these past few days to care for me. I love him because he is so much more than a loving husband, he is my best friend.

"OMG girlfriend! I just passed my driver's test!"

This past weekend I realized that my driver's license had expired...back in September. Now, see what had happened was, uh, that since I had it renewed right after we got married (almost a year and five months ago, thankyouverymuch) I thought I was good-to-go for another couple of years at least. (Point of Interest: I had one of the old laminated licenses up until I renewed last, yucky.) Well, apparently the expiration date stays the same from when I had first gotten it. So, I had been one of those "illegals" for almost four months now and was informed when I tried to renew today that I would have to first go to the Stephens County Driving Test Office. ErrrrrrrrrrT. Wait just a second, hold up there, you mean, I might have to take some kind of driving test?!?
Turns out no, but I did have to show my passport and got a lengthy lecture on my expired license from the driving instructor who was no less than 109 years old. What does he know about driving anyway? So, I'm legal again and this weekend me and my homies are planning on cruising the drag. Peace out, yo.

Pondering Production

I have a confession. For no good reason, I was totally unprepared for Christmas this year. I got all my shopping done weeks before the Big Day, I sent out cards to nearly 100 people and I even took time to bake goodies for family and friends. But somehow I still managed to feel completely bewildered by the whole meaning of Christmas. You see, I had not taken adequate time to prepare my heart for many of the emotions I was to experience nor did I prepare my heart to worship the King.

It all came to me as we were driving to church on Christmas Eve. Wopsle and I were discussing all of our favorite things that we had come to know and love about Christmas Eve services. Then we began to discuss some of the things that we DISliked. It turned into somewhat of an unhealthy conversation where we began to focus on more of the production of churches, family gatherings, and giving. I began to feel apprehensive that I might get so caught up in nitpicking the details that I would miss the meaning of Christmas altogether.

That's when we both realized... It's not about the production, it's about the person, Jesus. It's not about what the church service looked like last year, or about how crazy your family can be or even about how good you do feel when giving what you think to be "the perfect gift." It's about the one person whom the word Christmas comes from. Jesus.

Month Two

Dear Friends and Family,

This past month has been a huge month of growth. From what I have heard, I really feel like I can relate this past month to a mother watching her child begin to develop a personality all their own.
The month began with a meeting of the minds, as it were, as our Strategy Team met to evaluate the overall health of the ministry that included a brainstorming session of programs. I was blown away by how God just showed up and took control and really made the heart connection for these leaders to the ministry. I get excited every time we talk about what it means to be Purpose Driven and not because I think it's a good system but because I really can see God's vision behind it. Here's a sampling of what we came up with that day:

• A new mission statement: Our mission is to lead students into an authentic and growing relationship with Jesus Christ that changes their lives, changes their friends lives, builds the Church, and impacts the world!
• New Ministry Name: First Student Ministries
• New Wednesday night program name: Elevate
• New Small Group Model: C.O.R.E Groups (CORE stands for Committment, Openness, Relationships, and Encouragement
• We also brainstormed lots of events that will encourage outreach of students to their unchurched friends as well as new and innovative ways to get new leaders involved!

Overall, this was an extremely successful day! The next weekend, we took a group of 11 students to do a challenge course and taught them about what it looks like to be purpose driven. I must admit, I was so nervous to present the whole "Youth Group vs. Youth Ministry" idea to them, but I found that they were very receptive to this. Since that week, we have challenged them to memorize the Mission Statement and begin thinking of 5 friends that they can invite to church on Wednesday. I'm now happy to report that we have seen healthy progress in both of these areas!

This is why I do youth ministry. I love to see them "get it." I love to see them passionate and on fire for Jesus. I love to see the way it impacts their family. But most of all, I love the way it honors God.

Love,
The Wopsles

GleanWeanDreamNeedPlead

This is from the Purpose Driven blog posted by Brandon Barker. The title is 5 Keys to Long-Term Ministry but I think it translates into most, if not all, aspects of living life to the fullest. Everyday I wake up and ask that God would use me to do his ministry to the best of my ability. Here's what he says...
After 17 years of being in ministry, here are a few tips I would suggest.
GLEAN
Glean: as much as possible from the people around you, the people in your field (Christian) or in a different profession. Look to people who have the characteristics you want. Do this because it will help define you. Also, be proactive about this by searching these people out, don't wait for them to approach you.
WEAN
Wean: yourself off of traditional ministry and thinking
Everything people tell you is not gospel. Remember the church will look and be different in 10 years so you cannot depend on how things are taught now or what is traditional.
DREAM
Dream: take time out to dream and to think about what you want out of life and what you want your ministry to look like. Get away from the daily duties and tasks for a time to dream. Remember, if you don't extend your dreams you won't extend yourself.
NEED
Need: other people, gifts, talents, resources. Figure out a way of needing and depending on people. You make them the heroes, and they will want to support you more.
PLEAD
Plead: wake up every day asking God to use you and keep using you. What you have now could be so much more if you invest it. Beg God to keep using you.

Wow! These words are so empowering to me and I truly feel that they are attainable. Here is a list of high school students whom we are teaching the value of being purpose driven. I encourage you to join with us in praying for them by name:
Jade
Jeremy
Ben
Jacqui
Allison
Claire
Jessica
Kate
Carter
Landon
Sarah
Jon

Jolly Fallidays

Well, the wind has picked up, the air is brisk, and it seems like almost overnight the ground is covered in crunchy leaves. Fall is in full swing and Wopsle and I feel like the "real" ministry has begun. The first week we were here we struggled to stay afloat trying to learn names, getting use to small town schedules, and surviving without cable TV. But now, it seems that we are finally finding our niche.

Everyday, Wopsle gets up and goes into the office while I stay at home and tend to some "wifey" duties. I thought I would hate this, but I really enjoy this time to myself. I feel accomplished after a few hours of house work, something that I had never found satisfaction in before. We meet up for lunch and spend the remainder of the afternoon doing ministry. I love this part because instead of being stuck in our office, we actually get to interact with people. We'll visit the schools or meet with a parent or take time to ourselves to study and write talks.

Last Sunday we had our first parent meeting where we introduced our new Vision and Mission statement for the ministry. The parents were overwhelmingly responsive and supportive of everything we presented. A huge win! Last Monday we had our High School lunch group at the church and had over 30 students come! Another huge win! Students are out of school for the rest of the week for Fall Break so tonight we are having a Mafia night at our house. We've heard so much talk of students coming and bringing friends so I'm already counting that as a win! Tomorrow we're taking a group of students to the OKC Zoo and I know that will be a great time of relationship building and vision casting for attitudes this semester.

We're looking forward to more ministry opportunities and pray that the holidays wouldn't hinder our progress. Please partner with us for open hearts and vision. We love you all!

A Healthy Dose of Faith

So, we're moving to Duncan in just a matter of weeks and each day I find out more and more fun facts. They may seem random, but I'm confident that it is all God bringing peace to us about this decision. Here are a few confirmations and fun facts about Duncan:

• The website for the city of Duncan is one of the more impressive city websites I have ever seen. I mean, have you ever tried to navigate the OKC website? It is atrocious! Anyway, I think Duncan's is worth visit. www.duncanok.org
• Lynn Samples, mother to the wonderful Sheridan Samples, visited Journey this morning. We were able to meet her and chat about the town and hear how excited she is about us moving there! Also, she is Kyle Cantrell's cousin, so she's practically family already!
• We've learned that the town pretty much revolves around activity at the Simmons Center - the local activity center complete with workout facilities, theater, and indoor pool. We're looking forward to holding a membership card soon.
• Since we love to eat and I'm a terrible cook, you can bet that we have already scoped the local eateries. We've found out that Grant Goodner's family owns two restaurants in town that we are looking forward to trying. One being Goodner's Smokehouse, owned by his cousin, and the other Cedar Street Grill, owned by his father. I'm extra curious to try out Giovanni's Italian restaurant and compare it to Victoria's though I doubt it will measure up. We'll see...
• And last but not least, the people. I know many excellent people who hail from Duncan including Chad Higgins, The Gossetts, Alison Headrick, Mary Garis, and Annie Terracina just to name a few. But perhaps one of the most unlikely encouragements comes from the Willefords. Jason and Becky are that couple that I look to as an example in my own marriage. They are both such authentic people who are loving and generous in all aspects of their lives. While Becky is from Ardmore, another town I am fond of, Jason is from Duncan. The minute that he found out that we would be moving there, he began texting friends and hooking us up! They said that they visit Duncan often, on account of his family still living there, and that they would love to introduce us and hang out whenever they come in town. Such a blessing!

I took a Spiritual Gifts test today, not really thinking too much of it until the results portion. Sometimes it is difficult to take those tests because I feel that my knowledge of the questions and answers skews my results. However, today I was surprised. My top gift was Faith. Now, it would seem to me that one should be aware that they have strong faith but it wasn't until I saw it on paper that I realized just how much I have learned about faith in the past month. Wopsle too. We've learned to have faith even when things seem uncertain or improbable. We've learned to have faith when we surrender our comfort and give in to change. And we've learned to have faith that each other is asking and listening for the Lord's guidance while spinning in circles with hands surrendered. That's faith. And I would say that we have had a healthy dose of faith in the past couple of months. For faith, I'm thankful.